Re: BACHELORHOOD versus MARRIAGE
Posted by 123 on 2006/10/17 17:10:12
I have done some seach from Net and found a related topic about BACHELORHOOD versus MARRIAGE. So I posted it. Do you have any opinion want to share after reading it? 
**The Bachelor - Freedom Versus Commitment**
The bachelor is a free man. He can date whomever he wish. He can do whatever he wishes. He is not tied down to any woman. He doesn't have to answer to anyone. He enjoys freedom and independence. No limits.
Wouldn't it be fun for the bachelor to spend his life in bachelorhood? Sure, it will.
Imagine having to live your life without the burden of commitment. Imagine waking up each day when you wish. Imagine sleeping whenever and wherever you wish.
There's more. Oh, there's more.
Imagine the freedom of partying all night long without fear of having a fight with your woman at home because you stayed out late. Imagine having so many beauties around you without the need for commitment to just one girl.
The bachelor is as free as a bird in the open sky. Sure, bachelorhood is a time of great fun.
Unfortunately, the society won't let you remain a bachelor for ever. Society just won't let you be.
What’s so wrong with bachelorhood anyway?
Nothing really. It's just that society expects certain things of you at a certain age.
For example, in my part of the world, kids of working mothers join day care when they're three months old. They join playgroups at age one.
From then on things happen pretty fast.
Age 3: Kindergarten
Age 5: Primary school education starts
Age 10: Secondary (high) school education starts
Age 16: University admission
Age 20: Graduation
Age 21: Completion of compulsory national youth service
Age 22: Working life begins
Age 22 - 30: The bachelor years
Age 30: Expected marriage age. Could be less.
Age 35: You're getting old. You're under pressure to get married
Above 35: Pressure mounts. Your folks are worried stiff. Is something wrong with you?
The profile above reflects what happens in my part of the world. Yours is likely to be similar with slight variations, of course.
Bottom line.
Certain things are expected of you at certain age. If you act below that expectation, you're considered irresponsible or immature.
So it's marriage time.
Marriage curtails the freedom of the bachelor. Hence, many bachelors get so much in love with bachelorhood that they dread marriage.
Marriage is about commitment. It's about two people deciding to live together and for one another.
The commitment that marriage demands is about faithfulness and loyalty. This means that once you're married you cannot have a relationship with another woman.
If you do, you're unfaithful. An unfaithful man is called an adulterer. Not a good title, right?
In summary, marriage is about commitment to one woman. It's about living your life for her and partnering together for life.
This is asking a lot of you, the bachelor. It means giving up your freedom to do things that pleases just you. After marriage, you have to take your wife into consideration in whatever you do.
It's no longer your life. It's about you and your wife.
There's no doubt about it. Marriage comes with huge responsibilities. No wonder many bachelors dread getting marriage!
So, it's a war between freedom and commitment. The bachelor is free. Bachelorhood confers upon him freedom beyond imagination.
The married man doesn't enjoy that kind of freedom. He must answer to his wife.
So, why can't a bachelor just remain a bachelor for life? Why does he have to get married? What's so wrong with bachelorhood anyway?
Let's take the questions one after the other.
Why does the society expect the bachelor to get out of bachelorhood and get married?
The answer is this. We were not created to be alone. We desire female companionship. Men yearn for female attention. Women have something men do not have. So men desire to share their company.
Since that is so, why can't the man remain in bachelorhood and enjoy the company of as many women as possible?
That is an interesting possibility except for one thing.
Women want commitment.
Most women do not just want a fling. They want a permanent shoulder to lean on. They want commitment from their man.
And they are not alone.
Men want commitment too. If you doubt it, check out the fury of a man who caught his wife cheating on him. He has the anger of two wounded lions.
Since both men and women want commitment, why is the bachelor afraid of the commitment involved in marriage? Why does he yearn to remain in bachelorhood a little longer?
The simple reason is this. The challenge of marriage and love relationship have been over-emphasized. The tough side of being married have been blown out of proportion.
It is true that love relationship requires commitment. It is also true that problems arise in relationships.
source from:
But often, people focus more on the challenges relationships face and not on the blessings of being married.
For the avoidance of doubt, marriage can be a huge blessing.
When you're married, you have someone permanently at your side. You have a woman wholly and completely devoted to you.
She works for your success. She builds her life around you. She's always there when you need her. And you plan the future together. What could be better than that?
Bachelorhood has its advantages. But I tell you, there's nothing as exhilarating as finding a woman who loves you with her whole heart.
Her presence in your life will change your outlook on life. You will become a happy man in the accepted sense of the word. You will have someone to prod you in the right direction. And you will enjoy private benefits I can't tell you here.
Private benefits?
Yes. Things you have never thought of. Benefits you have never considered.
A good woman comes with favor. She brings sunshine to a man's life. The dark clouds get lifted. And a silver lining appears. The sun shines through. And your life takes on new meaning.
How do I know all of this?
I'm happily married, remember?
My wife makes my world complete. She is heaven sent. Since she stepped into my life, things have gone up for me in every ramification of life.
The conclusion?
Enjoy bachelorhood while it last. Get married when you're ripe for it.
The bachelor, believe me, you've not been told the whole truth about married life. Give it a shot. Don't hesitate a moment longer. You will be amazed.
source from:
http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/the-bachelor.html
**The Bachelor - Freedom Versus Commitment**
The bachelor is a free man. He can date whomever he wish. He can do whatever he wishes. He is not tied down to any woman. He doesn't have to answer to anyone. He enjoys freedom and independence. No limits.
Wouldn't it be fun for the bachelor to spend his life in bachelorhood? Sure, it will.
Imagine having to live your life without the burden of commitment. Imagine waking up each day when you wish. Imagine sleeping whenever and wherever you wish.
There's more. Oh, there's more.
Imagine the freedom of partying all night long without fear of having a fight with your woman at home because you stayed out late. Imagine having so many beauties around you without the need for commitment to just one girl.
The bachelor is as free as a bird in the open sky. Sure, bachelorhood is a time of great fun.
Unfortunately, the society won't let you remain a bachelor for ever. Society just won't let you be.
What’s so wrong with bachelorhood anyway?
Nothing really. It's just that society expects certain things of you at a certain age.
For example, in my part of the world, kids of working mothers join day care when they're three months old. They join playgroups at age one.
From then on things happen pretty fast.
Age 3: Kindergarten
Age 5: Primary school education starts
Age 10: Secondary (high) school education starts
Age 16: University admission
Age 20: Graduation
Age 21: Completion of compulsory national youth service
Age 22: Working life begins
Age 22 - 30: The bachelor years
Age 30: Expected marriage age. Could be less.
Age 35: You're getting old. You're under pressure to get married
Above 35: Pressure mounts. Your folks are worried stiff. Is something wrong with you?
The profile above reflects what happens in my part of the world. Yours is likely to be similar with slight variations, of course.
Bottom line.
Certain things are expected of you at certain age. If you act below that expectation, you're considered irresponsible or immature.
So it's marriage time.
Marriage curtails the freedom of the bachelor. Hence, many bachelors get so much in love with bachelorhood that they dread marriage.
Marriage is about commitment. It's about two people deciding to live together and for one another.
The commitment that marriage demands is about faithfulness and loyalty. This means that once you're married you cannot have a relationship with another woman.
If you do, you're unfaithful. An unfaithful man is called an adulterer. Not a good title, right?
In summary, marriage is about commitment to one woman. It's about living your life for her and partnering together for life.
This is asking a lot of you, the bachelor. It means giving up your freedom to do things that pleases just you. After marriage, you have to take your wife into consideration in whatever you do.
It's no longer your life. It's about you and your wife.
There's no doubt about it. Marriage comes with huge responsibilities. No wonder many bachelors dread getting marriage!
So, it's a war between freedom and commitment. The bachelor is free. Bachelorhood confers upon him freedom beyond imagination.
The married man doesn't enjoy that kind of freedom. He must answer to his wife.
So, why can't a bachelor just remain a bachelor for life? Why does he have to get married? What's so wrong with bachelorhood anyway?
Let's take the questions one after the other.
Why does the society expect the bachelor to get out of bachelorhood and get married?
The answer is this. We were not created to be alone. We desire female companionship. Men yearn for female attention. Women have something men do not have. So men desire to share their company.
Since that is so, why can't the man remain in bachelorhood and enjoy the company of as many women as possible?
That is an interesting possibility except for one thing.
Women want commitment.
Most women do not just want a fling. They want a permanent shoulder to lean on. They want commitment from their man.
And they are not alone.
Men want commitment too. If you doubt it, check out the fury of a man who caught his wife cheating on him. He has the anger of two wounded lions.
Since both men and women want commitment, why is the bachelor afraid of the commitment involved in marriage? Why does he yearn to remain in bachelorhood a little longer?
The simple reason is this. The challenge of marriage and love relationship have been over-emphasized. The tough side of being married have been blown out of proportion.
It is true that love relationship requires commitment. It is also true that problems arise in relationships.
source from:
But often, people focus more on the challenges relationships face and not on the blessings of being married.
For the avoidance of doubt, marriage can be a huge blessing.
When you're married, you have someone permanently at your side. You have a woman wholly and completely devoted to you.
She works for your success. She builds her life around you. She's always there when you need her. And you plan the future together. What could be better than that?
Bachelorhood has its advantages. But I tell you, there's nothing as exhilarating as finding a woman who loves you with her whole heart.
Her presence in your life will change your outlook on life. You will become a happy man in the accepted sense of the word. You will have someone to prod you in the right direction. And you will enjoy private benefits I can't tell you here.
Private benefits?
Yes. Things you have never thought of. Benefits you have never considered.
A good woman comes with favor. She brings sunshine to a man's life. The dark clouds get lifted. And a silver lining appears. The sun shines through. And your life takes on new meaning.
How do I know all of this?
I'm happily married, remember?
My wife makes my world complete. She is heaven sent. Since she stepped into my life, things have gone up for me in every ramification of life.
The conclusion?
Enjoy bachelorhood while it last. Get married when you're ripe for it.
The bachelor, believe me, you've not been told the whole truth about married life. Give it a shot. Don't hesitate a moment longer. You will be amazed.
source from:
http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/the-bachelor.html
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