Re: 文章請求修改(IELTS)

Posted by 123 on 2011/2/15 22:17:36

To chdboy:
底下的修正來自一位不具名的善心人士.謝謝!同時這位不具名的善心人士也提醒您要注意幾個項目: make tenses and nouns consistent.
紅色字體是需刪掉的部分.

Ps:希望有更多的好朋友一起來參與這個活動:幫大家修正文章.Thanks

In the present age, international sporting (World Cup etc.) events are very popular. Some people think
that it could ease tensions among countries and release emotions in a safe way.

This viewpoint may be true. Although, peace and development have become the mainstream thoughts of today, partial conflicts are also constant and common. And, as far as I know, these conflicts are practically result from mutual misunderstanding. Thus, strengthening interaction and mutual understanding are indispensable for each country. For example,the Olympic Games is a large-scale sports meeting of the world and, in many cases, every country must send several delegates and brilliant athletes to take part in. For them, the Olympics create an opportunity to communicate. By now, “one world, one dream” has became a well-known slogan as a whole. In addition, patriotic emotions widely
exist in most of the nations, which provide a sense of belonging to nationals. Seriously, we should treat these emotions critically and lead it to a right trend. Otherwise, it would become nationalism even, in a worst situation, terrorism. Surely, this kind of emotions can be released via athletic activities. If one team win a race, not only would they gain honor and a sense of achievement, but also it is a glory for the nation they come from.

However, some aspects are against this opinion. Specifically, it could not ease international tensions,although it makes an opportunity for countries to interact. Some international issues are so quite complex that it is not possible to be solved in a short time. Admittedly, international sport is a safe way of releasing patriotic emotions as the above said. But, unfortunately, we can often see some unpleasant matters happen on such significant occasions, such as quarrel or a fight. So, the practical effect of international sport is doubtful.

In conclusion, as international activities, athletic meetings could strengthen friendship among players who come from different countries, although it maybe unrealistic to solve national conflicts, practically,they provide a possibility and a stage for participating countries to communicate. For another, some unpleasant matters occur at times indeed, but, a sports meeting is still an ideal way to express patriotic emotions. In fact, it is impossible for everything to be flawless. Overall, my opinion is , international sporting occasions are useful in easing tensions among countries and releasing patriotic emotions safely.