puns

Posted by futari on 2007/6/19 0:09:04

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

3. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

4. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

5. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

6. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

7. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

8. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

10. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why," they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

11. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... (Oh, Man, this is so bad, 'cos it's
good) ... a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.