Re: Who can help me to correct my autobiography?

Posted by Anonymous on 2007/3/28 21:49:18

Hello Shannon

Your autobiography is good. It could be better if you fine-tune a little.

First of all, please let the room know which college you are applying to, as different colleges have different student admission criteria. It is imperative that you know the history of the college you are applying to, to be able to gain admission. In other words, you have to know what the strengths of the college are and what successful students they have produced. Having had that information, you can write your statement such that it ‘blends’ well with the college’s culture.

Your essay emphasized a little too much on religion, which is good; but may not be of great help.

Your emphasis on education received thus far should centre on what had been achieved to put you in good stead for a tertiary education. Things like awards and school representations are always an added advantage to your application.

For ECA, try to add some sports that you like, and if possible include events of welfare activities that you have rendered, if any, during your school term. Not that I am against it, but please try not to stress too much on religion.

It is good to include parents as your mentors. The college may not be interested in your siblings. So, it may be wise to leave them out.

You may have to prepare some essays as of required by some colleges, especially those in the United States, such as your childhood experience; or something that triggers your memories; or write an account of the most interesting book that you have read, etc.

Last but not least, expand on your “goals”. Tell the college what your ambition is, and how the college can help you achieve those goals.

Shannon, I do apologize if I sound blunt. Actually, EastCoast (Dave B) is the best person to advise you. He is the expert in this field.