> Enjoy your English while you can... The European Commission has just
> announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language
of
> the European Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
> As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded
that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted
a
> 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
>
> In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this
> will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
>
> The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of "k". This should klear
up
> konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the
> troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like
> fotograf 20% shorter.
>
> In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible.
>
> Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have
> always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
> Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
> languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
>
> By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th"
> with "z" and "w" with "v".
>
> During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl
> riten styl.
>
> Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu
> understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
>
> If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

> If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

speling korectin:
you → yu
pleas → ples

by Ero-English Secretariat

Thank you, Mr Sekretary.
(Don't you think they have missed out the part about letter "a"?)

korectin <== should be "korektion"?

Ar zes vrong to?
- oz"a??" (= other)
- riten ("v"riten = written)
- zi"z" (zi"s" = this)

Ha ha! Will "s" also replace certain phonetics such as this ...

'korektion' ---> 'koreksion'

fainted!!!

hahaha....

ZU ZA FOZER & ZA SEKREZARY OF ERO-INGRIS

The person or group of people who ‘designed’ Euro-English has a hidden agenda! Just look at this closing passage ...

“After zis fifz year, ve vil have a reli sensibil riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrirum vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.”

It looks more German than any other language!

SINGLISH is different! It is an absolute transparent language. No hidden agenda! Read on to confirm my remarks.


EXCLUSIVE SINGLISH SKILL

The following passage is written with skills that are exclusively Singaporeans. Even the Brits cannot do it.

Ah Beng was asked to construct sentences using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,and 10... Not only did he complete to 10; he did it backwards to 1! This was how it was done.

"1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple see me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and want to 5 with me. I run until I become 6 and throw out. So I go 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I take a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away!!! So I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and leave 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I 6. He say, 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also say to me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand leh ... I so nice 2 him. But I don't know what he 1."

PENGZ !!!

I FINK I HAP NAUFINK 2 KOM-PAIR- LENK